There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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