well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
