Have you finally orgasmed yet?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
