i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
