Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
