mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
