i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
