the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
