Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
