Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
