Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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