Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
