Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He better not be in your backpack
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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