Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
