so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize