do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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