She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Can you bring me the toilet please
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
