yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
