What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
