hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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