Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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