I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You're like the curious george of whores
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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