Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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