I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Green mimosas i think yes
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
