my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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