i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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