After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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