people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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