Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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