Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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