Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
