last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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