I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
