Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
ttyl tear gas
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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