Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
