This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
