woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
