At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
