I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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