:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
you never un-have a 4some
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
