I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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