How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
