Already got asked if we're dating
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
