So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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