I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
