It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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