i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
