I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
