Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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