the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
How's work?
Spinning.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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