Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
