there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
