Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
