too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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