Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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