Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
