Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
