I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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