i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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