It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
