Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
