I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
