Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
