i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
