ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize